Sensitive much?

I am so damn sensitive. Everytime someone tells me I am too sensitive it pushes my buttons and I get defensive. Sensitive much?

I embrace this now. I am honest, blunt, caring and when I get played it really hits me. I feel disrespected and taken advantage of. Especially at moments in my life when I need someone most. Like last Friday. Thank god for that day when 15 people, which is now called, The Flex Team, showed up to ride that 80 miler. They didn't have to know what had just happened - but just having that positive surrounding was beautiful. I think it pretty amazing that on the one day I was hurting really bad I had support...unintentionally. They just had to be there. Did that happend for a reason? Angels I tell you.

I start understanding the phrase about people coming into and out of you life for a reason. At one moment it is painful when someone hurts me....but as time goes on I start to understand that person was not right for me. Did not lead me in the direction my life should go. I have been down rotten paths that I was saved from.

The only problem is I have little trust in people now. That wall that everyone talks about..well, I have one.

I am a very social, friendly person but when it comes to really getting close to someone it scares me. I do not want to be hurt again but another "best" friend or man.

I guess when I meet people and become friends I have it in my mind that we will be friends forever. That does not mean talking everyday. Just being in touch and being there for each other. Everyone needs that. Leslie was that way.

I had some amazing contact with some awesome people during the last week and I gotta say...it really made me feel good. I was also crossed by a friend the day Leslie died and I want that feeling of hurt to go away. Out of sight, Out of mind.

I could name all the genuine friends I have but the list is too long. As I write that sentence I already feel better. I am going to look at the big picture in my life and know that I have more good people than bad around me. I just have to get better at recognizing who is using me and who really wants to be with me.

I will never use you and you can always trust me. Just know - I am hypersensitive. I just hide it.