Whenever evil befalls us, we ought to ask ourselves, after the first suffering, how we can turn it into good. So shall we take occasion, from one bitter root, to raise perhaps many flowers.
Leigh Hunt (1784 - 1859)
I like this quote because now that I am starting to climb out of this hole I fell into I can look back and see there were still some great things that happened. I could not wait for the day I could do that. Look back and reflect on a really hard time. I am still not quite out yet but I see the light.
Firstly, I was able to rescue and spend time with the two most wonderful animals. Peenut entered my life when Jager and my friend Leslie died and I lost my job at the beginning of our economic crisis. Peenelope entered when my friend Kim rescued her and her siblings as soon as they were born. Born in a crate with horrible and hot conditions from people that should go to jail. I offered to help find them a good home and ended up adopting Penelope turned Peenelope ( to go with Peenut). My unemployment has allowed me the time with them to get them acquainted with each other with me around and spend time socializing and training Peenelope. Lee Mannix helped me out with cost for the class and it was such a blessing. These are my babies that I hope to have for a very long time.
I also got to see what real friends are all about. I realize it is tough to stay around someone who is going through a rough patch. One must have the compassion, patience and understanding that this could happen to them at the drop of a hat. Just being there to listen, run, ride or just sit at a yogurt shop and Whole Foods and eat is exactly what I needed. My girlfriends ( tri and non tri) kept me from getting lost in my "cave". Granted I know a few people just don't want to be around me anymore and I completely get that. I don't want to be around them either...so this experience really weeded out some bad seeds for me. Summer is here and I am ready to come out of my cave, start my new job and I look foward to the opportunities that await me. These friends get to be around a new and improved positive Alisa that will be there for them always.
My family would not allow me to lose my house. I waited till I absolutely had to till I needed their help. It was the worst feeling for me that I had to borrow money so I could pay my mortgage. Going over my budget and letting family in like that is horrible. I have always had a lucrative career and been able to be independent of them. Now I was broke and unable to train or go out or do anything that was fun. I would have to explain that so I felt controlled. That was just something I had to deal with until I found an appropiate job opportunity. They understood when I did not want to be around for big family gatherings and it took a lot of "getting it" to agree to that. I realize the importance of family once again and how important they are in my life. Even though we disagree on about 85% of the things I like to do and how I live my life, ex. marathon and not wanting to give birth, we still agree on how important we are to each other.
I look at people who work hard for their money and hope they never take it for granted. I learned the reason for saving hard earned money and that got me through about 8 months of not working...and that includes the small fortune I spent on Ironman. You NEED that money because ya never know when something like what happened to me will happen again.
Thank heavens, for family, friends and animals....and running and biking. :)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
outside sales versus office job
I have been going over in my mind and trying to convince myself the decision I am about to make will be a good change.
I am so uneasy about going into an office everyday. I am used to walking into many different offices, meeting new people, and just being outside. I am used to having my office at my house and the flexibility of that was awesome.
This new opportunity will be different. I will be in an office and mostly on the phone with the occasional visit.
The pros to this are:
If we both decide to move forward the office is near Lost Creek so I can run the greenbelt at lunch.
I won't have to drive around my manager who is in town to work with me. I have to warn every account that I will have my manager with me so they don't feel double teamed. That was a big pain in the arse. I won't miss that.
I won't have to drive to Waco or Victoria to visit an account. The office is 10 minutes from my house. Easy breezy.
I won't have to drive around when the weather is crappy and the crazy drivers and traffic are plentiful. I can stay comfy and safe in the building.
Maybe this will provide a new structure for me. I will be able to get some hard workouts in early in the morning and then at night and won't have to walk in and out of offices with heals on. That will be happy times for my calves and achilles.
I won't have to leave town for a week to wherever my home office is ( Boston, CA, Washington....) for a national sales meeting. Those are exhausting!
So maybe this will be a good thing. It is still a mostly commission position so not being face to face to make a deal will be challenging...but this is a different sell that I can make work over the phone.
Second interview today and we both still need to make our decision.
Will update the blog once I know.
Till then...
I am so uneasy about going into an office everyday. I am used to walking into many different offices, meeting new people, and just being outside. I am used to having my office at my house and the flexibility of that was awesome.
This new opportunity will be different. I will be in an office and mostly on the phone with the occasional visit.
The pros to this are:
If we both decide to move forward the office is near Lost Creek so I can run the greenbelt at lunch.
I won't have to drive around my manager who is in town to work with me. I have to warn every account that I will have my manager with me so they don't feel double teamed. That was a big pain in the arse. I won't miss that.
I won't have to drive to Waco or Victoria to visit an account. The office is 10 minutes from my house. Easy breezy.
I won't have to drive around when the weather is crappy and the crazy drivers and traffic are plentiful. I can stay comfy and safe in the building.
Maybe this will provide a new structure for me. I will be able to get some hard workouts in early in the morning and then at night and won't have to walk in and out of offices with heals on. That will be happy times for my calves and achilles.
I won't have to leave town for a week to wherever my home office is ( Boston, CA, Washington....) for a national sales meeting. Those are exhausting!
So maybe this will be a good thing. It is still a mostly commission position so not being face to face to make a deal will be challenging...but this is a different sell that I can make work over the phone.
Second interview today and we both still need to make our decision.
Will update the blog once I know.
Till then...
Monday, February 15, 2010
New Starts and Support
Austin is an amazing city with an opportunity to meet new people and stay active...whether it be competitive in sport or just running your dog around the dog park.
When I moved to Austin I ran. Only ran. The same trail, the same distance. My friends Larry and Leslie introduced me to the Gazelles....it rocked! I just didn't stick with it. It is there I can alway join up!
Then there is Rogue. Rogue got me through my very first Danskin triathlon and I had so much support while I had no idea how to clip on or swim efficiently. They got me through. I believe Leslie introduced me to them too.
I was ready for the next level. In comes T3. T3 got me through my first half Ironman and my first Ironman.
I like variety and ready to branch out to other activities and additional people. I love to meet new people and having the opportunity to meet them while trail running, whatever running, swimming, biking or yoga is how I like to live my life. Having people like this in my life keep me going and I never feel alone.
I have lost a few friends I feel like and that is ok. It happens and part of it is due to my situation at the present moment. I have not been myself and am going through some major life changes.
At the perfect time to start over new comes Tempo Multisport!
"Tempo Multisport was founded in 2009 by Tammy Metzger, an Ironman athlete, and student of sports psychology and exercise physiology. Tammy started professional coaching in early 2006 at Cycle University in Seattle, Washington. She currently holds a bachelor of science degree in Exercise Science from Bastyr University, also in Seattle, and is finishing up her Master’s of Education degree from the University of Texas at Austin, majoring in Sport & Exercise Psychology, with a strong focus on Exercise Physiology. Next fall she will be transfering into UT Austin’s coordinated nutrition program to attain certification as a Registered Dietitian.".
As soon as I recover from the last two races I have done I will begin a new experience. So far I really like the people involved with Tempo Multisport as it is in it's beginning stages. Such awesome friends Tammy has who are willing to support her and see this group succeed..for the good of the community. I smile every time I see a new sponsor on her list and know this can be a little overwhelming.
To some people it may seem like just another tri group in Austin. To me it is a chance to learn new ways to train, network and have some fun and offer my support and enthusiasm in seeing others succeed.
I don't like letting chances like this pass me by. I never know who I will meet. My new best friend, a best friend for a best friend, friends for Peenelope...whatever. I don't see this as another tri group for which I have to choose. I see it as an addition.
Congratulations to Tammy and thank you for including me in your new venture!
When I moved to Austin I ran. Only ran. The same trail, the same distance. My friends Larry and Leslie introduced me to the Gazelles....it rocked! I just didn't stick with it. It is there I can alway join up!
Then there is Rogue. Rogue got me through my very first Danskin triathlon and I had so much support while I had no idea how to clip on or swim efficiently. They got me through. I believe Leslie introduced me to them too.
I was ready for the next level. In comes T3. T3 got me through my first half Ironman and my first Ironman.
I like variety and ready to branch out to other activities and additional people. I love to meet new people and having the opportunity to meet them while trail running, whatever running, swimming, biking or yoga is how I like to live my life. Having people like this in my life keep me going and I never feel alone.
I have lost a few friends I feel like and that is ok. It happens and part of it is due to my situation at the present moment. I have not been myself and am going through some major life changes.
At the perfect time to start over new comes Tempo Multisport!
"Tempo Multisport was founded in 2009 by Tammy Metzger, an Ironman athlete, and student of sports psychology and exercise physiology. Tammy started professional coaching in early 2006 at Cycle University in Seattle, Washington. She currently holds a bachelor of science degree in Exercise Science from Bastyr University, also in Seattle, and is finishing up her Master’s of Education degree from the University of Texas at Austin, majoring in Sport & Exercise Psychology, with a strong focus on Exercise Physiology. Next fall she will be transfering into UT Austin’s coordinated nutrition program to attain certification as a Registered Dietitian.".
As soon as I recover from the last two races I have done I will begin a new experience. So far I really like the people involved with Tempo Multisport as it is in it's beginning stages. Such awesome friends Tammy has who are willing to support her and see this group succeed..for the good of the community. I smile every time I see a new sponsor on her list and know this can be a little overwhelming.
To some people it may seem like just another tri group in Austin. To me it is a chance to learn new ways to train, network and have some fun and offer my support and enthusiasm in seeing others succeed.
I don't like letting chances like this pass me by. I never know who I will meet. My new best friend, a best friend for a best friend, friends for Peenelope...whatever. I don't see this as another tri group for which I have to choose. I see it as an addition.
Congratulations to Tammy and thank you for including me in your new venture!
Friday, February 12, 2010
2010 - The Year of Bandera and Rocky Raccoon
At the beginning of the year my new year's resolution was to begin spending more time off the road and on the trail. This includes trail running and mountain biking. Since I am not making a steady income trail running is all can afford. Will pick back up with triathlon training when I get a job.
So for now trail running it is and Bandera was first on the list. I was so sceeeered. I was told of the rough and challenging hills and rocks so I thought maaaaybe I should wait until I do some trail run training.
Naaaa.
I decided to just go on out there and do the 15 mile ( 30K ?) run. Then I heard it was going to be 10 degrees so I changed my mind. I didn't feel like finding a sitter for Peenelope and staying there over the weekend. Then Ali and Roman said they would drive with me that morning and come back after. Damn Ali! So I changed my mind again, got up at 4 am, drove to Bandera and did the run starting in, yup, 10 degrees. I had THE BEST TIME EVER! I am sooo glad I did it and was able to come home and sleep in my warm bed with Peenelope. Yes, I told her all about my day. Met a couple of new people, saw Logan at the beginning then saw Elizabeth and Jess who were cheering. Then I got my medal, changed in Logan's tent, hung out with Rhonda, Val, Amy, Ali, and Roman and cheered on Vegas, Jane Bui and Jerry as they did the 50K. I also saw Mike and Meredith at an aid station. Fun fun day! Got me out of my funk.
I had soo much fun on the trail not thinking about my shitty life as I know it to be right now. By shitty I mean I really hate not working and buying stuff.
That night after Bandera I signed up for Rocky Raccoon. A 50 MILE trail run in Huntsville. ( My training consisted of a couple of marathons and no trail running except for Bandera - not the smartest move but who cares).
So Rocky...
Drove up there with Vegas and Jane. They knew everything they needed for a trail run of this distance. I was like shit..I need a bandana!? Gators? Green light? Learned a lot! We pick up our packet, go to the briefing, got our drop bags together and went to bed for a 4:15 am wake up call.
Our hotel was so nice and opened breakfast at 4 am for all the runners. Sweet! Jerry met us and we were on our way. 6 am was when the 100 milers started. We saw a bunch of bobbing headlamps running towards us. It was so cool to see!
7 am - We start out for what was going to be the longest friggin run of my life. It was soo pretty out there. Tall trees, a really pretty lake ( which at night was more scary because of the laughing clown sounds coming from it). We had to run 3 loops of about 16 miles...( teeny bit more to equal 50). Start cold, got warm ,ended cold. We got to our drop bag twice and then when we finished so we could change. I could have done better at that. I didn't change my shoes and got massive blisters between my toesies. Sexy. I also should have had my gloves. My hands were cold. I have never had foot pain like I did on this run. Almost a week later and my feet still hurt. That is about it really. No other muscle soreness believe it or not. It took 14 hours.
This was more mental for me than anything. Harder than a 16/17 hour Ironman. Just didn't think I would be able to finish. Really doubted myself but out loud would say I am going to finish this. Inside I was so scared I would drop. I kept going. Didn't sit down once because I totally knew that would be the end.
My plan going in was to eat like I would a normal marathon..gu's and crap. Then halfway in enjoy all the junk at the aid stations. Grill cheese, P,B and J, Ham and Cheese sandwiches, Chicken noodle soup, potatoes and salt, candy...oh the candy! The problem was I completely lost my appetite. It took everything I had to get down the food in the alloted 7 minutes we allowed ourselves at each aid station. I just couldn't eat and that sucked. I forced it. I know I was well hydrated. I had to pee every 20 minutes. Yup, a few squats had to be done.
When we finished all I wanted to do again was of course pee, take off my shoes, assess the damage, take a vicodin, drink some wine, eat pizza and celebrate with Vegas and Jane. That was the best. Hangin out with them, our Rocky Racoon sweatshirts, crawling around the room to get from suitcase to chair to bed and discussing how it went. The 14 hour longest run of my life. I really don't think I can do it again but it all depends on what funk I have going on.
I got to forget about life for a day and focus on the pain in my feet instead. I am so glad I did it and thank Vegas for talking me into it...just like she did Ironman. Watch out for her. She will bring your inner warrior out. Sometimes that is just what I need.
So for now trail running it is and Bandera was first on the list. I was so sceeeered. I was told of the rough and challenging hills and rocks so I thought maaaaybe I should wait until I do some trail run training.
Naaaa.
I decided to just go on out there and do the 15 mile ( 30K ?) run. Then I heard it was going to be 10 degrees so I changed my mind. I didn't feel like finding a sitter for Peenelope and staying there over the weekend. Then Ali and Roman said they would drive with me that morning and come back after. Damn Ali! So I changed my mind again, got up at 4 am, drove to Bandera and did the run starting in, yup, 10 degrees. I had THE BEST TIME EVER! I am sooo glad I did it and was able to come home and sleep in my warm bed with Peenelope. Yes, I told her all about my day. Met a couple of new people, saw Logan at the beginning then saw Elizabeth and Jess who were cheering. Then I got my medal, changed in Logan's tent, hung out with Rhonda, Val, Amy, Ali, and Roman and cheered on Vegas, Jane Bui and Jerry as they did the 50K. I also saw Mike and Meredith at an aid station. Fun fun day! Got me out of my funk.
I had soo much fun on the trail not thinking about my shitty life as I know it to be right now. By shitty I mean I really hate not working and buying stuff.
That night after Bandera I signed up for Rocky Raccoon. A 50 MILE trail run in Huntsville. ( My training consisted of a couple of marathons and no trail running except for Bandera - not the smartest move but who cares).
So Rocky...
Drove up there with Vegas and Jane. They knew everything they needed for a trail run of this distance. I was like shit..I need a bandana!? Gators? Green light? Learned a lot! We pick up our packet, go to the briefing, got our drop bags together and went to bed for a 4:15 am wake up call.
Our hotel was so nice and opened breakfast at 4 am for all the runners. Sweet! Jerry met us and we were on our way. 6 am was when the 100 milers started. We saw a bunch of bobbing headlamps running towards us. It was so cool to see!
7 am - We start out for what was going to be the longest friggin run of my life. It was soo pretty out there. Tall trees, a really pretty lake ( which at night was more scary because of the laughing clown sounds coming from it). We had to run 3 loops of about 16 miles...( teeny bit more to equal 50). Start cold, got warm ,ended cold. We got to our drop bag twice and then when we finished so we could change. I could have done better at that. I didn't change my shoes and got massive blisters between my toesies. Sexy. I also should have had my gloves. My hands were cold. I have never had foot pain like I did on this run. Almost a week later and my feet still hurt. That is about it really. No other muscle soreness believe it or not. It took 14 hours.
This was more mental for me than anything. Harder than a 16/17 hour Ironman. Just didn't think I would be able to finish. Really doubted myself but out loud would say I am going to finish this. Inside I was so scared I would drop. I kept going. Didn't sit down once because I totally knew that would be the end.
My plan going in was to eat like I would a normal marathon..gu's and crap. Then halfway in enjoy all the junk at the aid stations. Grill cheese, P,B and J, Ham and Cheese sandwiches, Chicken noodle soup, potatoes and salt, candy...oh the candy! The problem was I completely lost my appetite. It took everything I had to get down the food in the alloted 7 minutes we allowed ourselves at each aid station. I just couldn't eat and that sucked. I forced it. I know I was well hydrated. I had to pee every 20 minutes. Yup, a few squats had to be done.
When we finished all I wanted to do again was of course pee, take off my shoes, assess the damage, take a vicodin, drink some wine, eat pizza and celebrate with Vegas and Jane. That was the best. Hangin out with them, our Rocky Racoon sweatshirts, crawling around the room to get from suitcase to chair to bed and discussing how it went. The 14 hour longest run of my life. I really don't think I can do it again but it all depends on what funk I have going on.
I got to forget about life for a day and focus on the pain in my feet instead. I am so glad I did it and thank Vegas for talking me into it...just like she did Ironman. Watch out for her. She will bring your inner warrior out. Sometimes that is just what I need.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Big Brothers Big Sisters
Hi.
I was a part of BBBS about 6 years ago. Tawaina was my little's name. She is about 19 now. We still keep in touch. Mostly by text and email. She calls me sis and tells me she loves me. The thing is when we were hanging out we had very few words. I never thought I was doing enough and thought I was the worst Big.
We did stuff like festivals, made pizza at my place, watched movies, carved pumpkins on Halloween and went roller skating. Things like that. Still with very little to say.
I never thought I would be friends with her 6 year later, she living in Dallas ( fair park area of town) and me here in Austin. She did not live in the worst area but not the safest by ANY means. I remember driving her friend home one night...and that was SCARY.
This little girl was in essence my Big. She taught me that just being there for someone, whether silent or not, is so meaningful if your heart is really in it. The other person can tell. I truly wanted to do a good job at being her Big Sis and made it for one year before I moved to Austin. Some Bigs are amazing. They did soooo much for their little and have been there for them for years. That is what I was comparing myself too. It does not matter. I did the best I could and she knew that.
To this day whenever I am in a funk or just not myself she knows. I will get a text from her with a psalm verse or just a positive saying. Of course she is still a kid so I get the silly texts too that she forwards to and from her friends. Makes me smile.
I post this as a reminder of how important it is to get over yourself. On those days that you are feeling sorry for yourself try doing something nice for someone else. You never know how awesome of timing it will be and will make you feel tons better. Sure, that could sound a little selfish but it is win win.
I did not have to act like her mom, did not teach her school stuff or give her any advice about life.
I was just there.
I was a part of BBBS about 6 years ago. Tawaina was my little's name. She is about 19 now. We still keep in touch. Mostly by text and email. She calls me sis and tells me she loves me. The thing is when we were hanging out we had very few words. I never thought I was doing enough and thought I was the worst Big.
We did stuff like festivals, made pizza at my place, watched movies, carved pumpkins on Halloween and went roller skating. Things like that. Still with very little to say.
I never thought I would be friends with her 6 year later, she living in Dallas ( fair park area of town) and me here in Austin. She did not live in the worst area but not the safest by ANY means. I remember driving her friend home one night...and that was SCARY.
This little girl was in essence my Big. She taught me that just being there for someone, whether silent or not, is so meaningful if your heart is really in it. The other person can tell. I truly wanted to do a good job at being her Big Sis and made it for one year before I moved to Austin. Some Bigs are amazing. They did soooo much for their little and have been there for them for years. That is what I was comparing myself too. It does not matter. I did the best I could and she knew that.
To this day whenever I am in a funk or just not myself she knows. I will get a text from her with a psalm verse or just a positive saying. Of course she is still a kid so I get the silly texts too that she forwards to and from her friends. Makes me smile.
I post this as a reminder of how important it is to get over yourself. On those days that you are feeling sorry for yourself try doing something nice for someone else. You never know how awesome of timing it will be and will make you feel tons better. Sure, that could sound a little selfish but it is win win.
I did not have to act like her mom, did not teach her school stuff or give her any advice about life.
I was just there.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Timing
"Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict."
"Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur. "
Maybe 38 years old is my prime. I always wonder when it will be my year and with all the changes happening around and on my birthday, after all the beatings from the last 6 months, I have to believe this is the year.
I really appreciate Erin and Tom for taking the time to fine tune my interviewing skills and offering any professional help without me asking for it. I love that I have friends who are there for me and know when I need a hand, guidance and/or a hug. I know that sounds gay but looking into the eyes of these two people I can honestly say I would recommended them as a friend to anyone. Cindy and Esther wrote me beee u tee ful letters of recommendation and totally helped seal the deal. What support! The flex team! What an awesome honor to be part of that. We without jobs were able to find a positive outlet with triathlon and see that we are not alone. I think that was so great even though others who were working felt otherwise. Listen, we needed to make the best of our situation and if it took us going out on our long ride on a Friday afternoon then so be it.
I get to start a new career with excitement that I have never felt before in a "job". Money is not everything anymore to me and thank goodness because it is going to take me 2 years to get my territory up and running. I have mentioned money is not everything in my earlier blogs and I stand by that. Just now I get to put my two interests together...therapy and sales.
I get to do my Ironman knowing I have something to come home to. I do not have to worry about my next race goal because now it will be my career goal. ( and the Nike San Francisco marathon in October) ( and mountain bike riding) ( and rowing) ( and guitar lessons).
I am not too worried about a relationship because I learned that I have no control over the timing of that. Just like this career. It came at the time it was supposed to. I truly believe that if I am to be married one day I have to just let it happen in it's own time. As long as I feel complete with myself, and I am starting too, a marriage will be a perfect adjunct to my life. I want to get married one day. There. I said it. Out loud. Yikes. I really do and I want to be happy. I want to be secure with myself and want to trust. I am working on that too. Just going to take a very understanding man to assist me with that.
For now I am complete and happy with my awesome friends ( you know who you are), Peenut, soon to be career and Ironman! 38 here I come! ( I am still going to act and look younger though).
Smiles!
"Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur. "
Maybe 38 years old is my prime. I always wonder when it will be my year and with all the changes happening around and on my birthday, after all the beatings from the last 6 months, I have to believe this is the year.
I really appreciate Erin and Tom for taking the time to fine tune my interviewing skills and offering any professional help without me asking for it. I love that I have friends who are there for me and know when I need a hand, guidance and/or a hug. I know that sounds gay but looking into the eyes of these two people I can honestly say I would recommended them as a friend to anyone. Cindy and Esther wrote me beee u tee ful letters of recommendation and totally helped seal the deal. What support! The flex team! What an awesome honor to be part of that. We without jobs were able to find a positive outlet with triathlon and see that we are not alone. I think that was so great even though others who were working felt otherwise. Listen, we needed to make the best of our situation and if it took us going out on our long ride on a Friday afternoon then so be it.
I get to start a new career with excitement that I have never felt before in a "job". Money is not everything anymore to me and thank goodness because it is going to take me 2 years to get my territory up and running. I have mentioned money is not everything in my earlier blogs and I stand by that. Just now I get to put my two interests together...therapy and sales.
I get to do my Ironman knowing I have something to come home to. I do not have to worry about my next race goal because now it will be my career goal. ( and the Nike San Francisco marathon in October) ( and mountain bike riding) ( and rowing) ( and guitar lessons).
I am not too worried about a relationship because I learned that I have no control over the timing of that. Just like this career. It came at the time it was supposed to. I truly believe that if I am to be married one day I have to just let it happen in it's own time. As long as I feel complete with myself, and I am starting too, a marriage will be a perfect adjunct to my life. I want to get married one day. There. I said it. Out loud. Yikes. I really do and I want to be happy. I want to be secure with myself and want to trust. I am working on that too. Just going to take a very understanding man to assist me with that.
For now I am complete and happy with my awesome friends ( you know who you are), Peenut, soon to be career and Ironman! 38 here I come! ( I am still going to act and look younger though).
Smiles!
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