It has been a month since I decided to move on from medical sales and into a new career. Although the temptation to interview for sales positions have been there I am holding strong to my committment to "moving on".
Making this change is super scary...not so much because of the work I am putting in to get there, but it is the fear of the unknown. I think that is why I have always had the same habits. I know where this is going. It doesn't make the process any easier but there are no surprises. ( stands true for relationships too).
Here is where I am. I have been getting in my exercise physiology hours at the cardiac rehab center at South Austin hospital. I go everyday as if it is my job. I am scheduled to take my BLS and ACLS certifications in two weeks. After that I will be considered for a part time position at an exercise physiologist. I really hope that works out as I study for my ACSM certification and within a year I hope to become a full time exercise physiologist in cardiac rehab.
The center is growing and this would be an absolute AWESOME time to get in. I enjoy educating and getting to know the lifestyles of the patients that have been prescribed cardiac rehab from there heart surgeon. It is amazing to me how some have never been on a treadmill in their life. These people are grateful. They are grateful to be alive and really appreciate the rehabiliation process and those that support them through it.
It is sooooo hard to stop the head trash and reminder that I am not getting paid as I do these hours. I stop those thoughts and remember this is all for a goal. I will keep it up. I am on the right track.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Ok I am listening!
Ok, what!?
For years I have been in outside medical sales. In 1998 I met this lady, running of all things ( I didn't run at the time but thought I would give it a go) and we started chatting. Well, I started running with her and we started chatting. Her name was Shirley Leonard. I didn't even have to look that up.
She convinced me to leave corporate wellness (where I excelled but made shit money) and offered me an almost triple raise in salary to go into pharma sales. From there I went on into diagnostic sales, surgical sales, dental implant sales, and lab sales. See a pattern? I do.
I am good at sales but it isn't me. I want to help people...not bullshit them into thinking I want to help them. I really want to help them. But you don't make money doing that. I made myself truly believe in everything I sold so I wouldn't feel like I was a salesperson. I consulted surgeons, hospitals and offices into buying what I sold. Somewhere down the line I lost my edge. The flirting and ass kissing makes me sick. But again, I made a good living.
I have gone from making 90K to a salary on unemployment.
Before your head's start turning with ....oh my gosh! You should totally work with dogs!...I don't want to do that. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE animals but that is my "hobby" and those are my children. Not what I want to do for a living.
I was recently approached by the new director at South Austin Cardiac Rehab where I was doing my volunteer ( clinical ) hours previously to be an Exercise Physiologist. I was not getting the hands on opportunities I thought I would so I stopped going and continued in sales. The new director assured me I would get to be more hands on with some training if I would like to come back and continue getting my hours.
So now I need to go full steam ahead, change careers and make the next 40-60 years of my life fullfilled both professionally and personally. I have a lot to work on in both areas and I am finally getting to a point that I know I need to get it together. I am not sure yet what it is that I want but I feel like I am getting closer. The fact that I am open to change is a step. FOMO ( in this case - foward motion). Most of all I think I am becoming more aware of what I DON'T want.
How am I not depressed? I think what made me a good "sales person" is my ability to not look like there is anything wrong. I am a little sad but not depressed. I refuse to let that happen. Get up, take care of my responsibility to my dogs, my health and my head and it will all work out right?
I am not sad or depressed....just scared. There. I admit it. Here we go. Yikes.
For years I have been in outside medical sales. In 1998 I met this lady, running of all things ( I didn't run at the time but thought I would give it a go) and we started chatting. Well, I started running with her and we started chatting. Her name was Shirley Leonard. I didn't even have to look that up.
She convinced me to leave corporate wellness (where I excelled but made shit money) and offered me an almost triple raise in salary to go into pharma sales. From there I went on into diagnostic sales, surgical sales, dental implant sales, and lab sales. See a pattern? I do.
I am good at sales but it isn't me. I want to help people...not bullshit them into thinking I want to help them. I really want to help them. But you don't make money doing that. I made myself truly believe in everything I sold so I wouldn't feel like I was a salesperson. I consulted surgeons, hospitals and offices into buying what I sold. Somewhere down the line I lost my edge. The flirting and ass kissing makes me sick. But again, I made a good living.
I have gone from making 90K to a salary on unemployment.
Before your head's start turning with ....oh my gosh! You should totally work with dogs!...I don't want to do that. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE animals but that is my "hobby" and those are my children. Not what I want to do for a living.
I was recently approached by the new director at South Austin Cardiac Rehab where I was doing my volunteer ( clinical ) hours previously to be an Exercise Physiologist. I was not getting the hands on opportunities I thought I would so I stopped going and continued in sales. The new director assured me I would get to be more hands on with some training if I would like to come back and continue getting my hours.
So now I need to go full steam ahead, change careers and make the next 40-60 years of my life fullfilled both professionally and personally. I have a lot to work on in both areas and I am finally getting to a point that I know I need to get it together. I am not sure yet what it is that I want but I feel like I am getting closer. The fact that I am open to change is a step. FOMO ( in this case - foward motion). Most of all I think I am becoming more aware of what I DON'T want.
How am I not depressed? I think what made me a good "sales person" is my ability to not look like there is anything wrong. I am a little sad but not depressed. I refuse to let that happen. Get up, take care of my responsibility to my dogs, my health and my head and it will all work out right?
I am not sad or depressed....just scared. There. I admit it. Here we go. Yikes.
Monday, May 23, 2011
IMTX
A year ago I remember frantically sitting by my computer ready to hit register for the first Ironman in Texas. I had to do it. My home state. My humid as hell home state.
Drove up with Maggie as we raised the roof to Dynamite, Usher, and Pitbull. We got lost then met Kathleen for lunch. SCARF! Hungry bunnies.
Check in line was loooooong but I did not mind it too much. Got to talk to people in line and look for cute boys. Finally got our bike, run, morning, and two special needs bags, cap, chip and whatever else was in that bag. Blah blah, we got dinner too and did our bags and went to bed.
Friday - Dad came by and helped Maggie and me with our bags while we rode our bikes to check em in. That was so helpful! I was so excited my Dad was going to see this event and meet my amazing Austin family. FOMO team picture was next then naptime!
I went by to Carrie's hotel to get my fake fomo tats, talked to some cute North Carolina boys then like angels Mel, Katy and Jane Bui appeared! Holy crap I cried I was so happy to see them.
Went to get sushi then the next batch of sherpas appeared...Becca, Denise and Shannon! Whaaaaa!! I was so happy!
That night before. Ugh. Are we really doing an Ironman tomorrow?! Sleep, how is Peenut? Sleep, Is my GPS charging? Sleep, I hope Talie is doing ok with the girls, Sleep, I have to get up to pee. That was essentially my night's sleep.
We got up around 4 am got ready, tried to get down some calories and Becca, Denise and Shannon ( the most fun sherpas in the world) drove us to transitition to set up our bike nutrition then took us to the swim start a mile away. SUCKERS that are walking! HA! We were walking from the car to the start of the swim and OMG! we ran right into Barbara and Dad! Could not have been better timing. I got the tightest hug from my Dad and man did I need that. Everything was right in the world at that point. I had my friends and got to see Dad and Barbara. Let's do this.
Mass swim start: MEN EVERYWHERE! Where are all the single ladeeez? Oh there were about 25% women in this whole race....and they kicked ass! I got in the middle because Katy Dooley said you want to be in the vortex. So I got my butt to the vortex and Gun shot! Off we go! Kick, punch, scratch ( cut your damn toenails and fingernails d bags!). Finally got a nice open spot to swim and made it though! Except one more kick in the throat for old times sake. The guy actually said sorry! The last turn was through a canal that felt like FOREVER! I kept looking with my alligator eyes ( thank you Becca McCann for helping me with that during training) and never saw the finish. Just keep swimming foward. Eventually you will get there. Yay done! I seen I think Vicky and I saw Catherine and Al the Monkey for sure. Oh, I swam in my bathing suit. No wetsuit and no speedsuit. I was happy with my time. 1:32.
A volunteer was immediately available to me. She was great! We got off my bathing suit and got on my tri shorts, bra and favorite FOMO tri top with the cool wings Kathleen had lent me all training and for the race. Got my helmet, shoes and gloves on and out I go! I had to pee so bad. As I mounted my bike I saw Katy, Mel, Jane, Shannon and I know Becca and Denise were there but I don't think I looked that direction...and they were on the side I was mounting my bike on! Grrrr. Missed em! I think Katy was crying because she couldn't believe I swam so well. :) Seriously 1:32 for me is GRRRRReat!
The Bike: I was really happy to be done with the swim even though I felt pretty darn good. This was an awesome ride. It was hard, I was tired and I am not fast but the course was actually pretty awesome. Just a few chip n seal areas but most of the roads were like butta. The hills were perfect. Rollers. Cloud cover the whole ride! Holy crap were we lucky. It was 90 degrees and 100% humidity but if that sun had come out I am not sure what would have happened. I got really bloated in the second hour. I took a tums because I thought my tummy was feeling wierd and that may have upset it more. So I just took water for about an hour with little nutrition so my tummy would go down. It did after about an hour. Very uncomfortable. I felt some wind but again, we were so lucky! It was not near as bad as the rides we had in training. There was also a 50% chance of rain. Not a drop! So So lucky! I just thought rest stop to rest stop. Could not think 112 miles. 10 miles was doable. When I hit 80 I figured that is a great indication that I will be finishing the Ironman. I felt pretty good but was ready to be done. That last 12 miles took forever!! I think because I saw this HEB and I thought it was the one close to the transition area. It wasn't. So mentally I was like where the heck are we? Just keep moving forward. I love being a part of FOMO because believe it or not, saying forward motion, just keep moving forward kept me thinking I am getting closer and closer. Dismount!! Volunteer took my bike and shockingly this time I didn't want to throw it at her like I did at CdA. I was like here ya go kind lady and thank you. I don't hate my bike right now. I don't want to ride anytime soon but I don't hate it. That aluminum road bike has been very good to me and I love it. I do want a tri bike one day though. I digress. I did my bike in 7:23 I think.
The run/walk to the tent was far to walk/run in bike shoes. I didn't really want help this time because I had ....well, I didn't stop on the bike to pee so ....ya know. I prefered to just change myself this time. I had plastic bags for all my dirty bike clothes and aaaaaah nice clean running shorts. After I got everything on, including belt, socks, shoes, FOMO ice holder hat and running shorts I was out the door. I did pee in the porto potty this time. It took a while until I saw my people. I couldn't wait! Dina, Tammy, Karen, Nancy, Vicky, Catherine, Al the monkey, Kelly Knight , Kim Evans, Courtney, Lindsor, Stephanie, Eric C, Tim tim, Chel, Bekah, Mel, Becca, Shannon, Denise, Katy, Jane Bui, Cindy, Michelle L. , Charles, Phil, Amit, Mike P., Roman, Kelly G.,...Gosh, did I forget someone.? I love how they made themselves spread out enough to cover the lonely parts of the run. I did a run/walk...mostly walk. Kinda sad about that because running is my favorite part but my tummy wasn't having it. So I did the marathon in under 6 hours. I was having a great last loop because I hooked up with a really nice guy named Armando. We were gonna finish this beast together. He showed me a picture of his sweet 3 year old daughter who was waiting for him at the finish. He gave me a piece of gum and really great conversation.
The finish chute: The finish was completely different for me from CdA. It was crowded with people. I took time to look at everyone and take it all in. There was a spotlight. It was so exciting. I heard my name this time saying I am an Ironman and had my family : Dad, Mom, Babara and Seester waiting for me! It was something I was so excited about and visualizing that moment all through training. Charles Morton I think literally caught after I crossed. Big ole hug and got me my small shirt! ( last time I got an oversized finisher shirt for CdA). This one fits! Got my hat and medal and headed over to my family to share the big smile I had on my face. Then we walked over to my FOMO family and watched the amazing Maggie come in! I am so happy we got to do a race together!!
It was awesome rooming with fun gals Maggie, Lindsey Ginko, and Mallory. We had some great laughs! Training and racing with Kathleen, Oscar, Vegas, Rhonda, Pam, Shawn, Carrie, Michael, Chris, Kevin, Cynthia, Peaches, and Mary( and Mel even though she was not racing, she trained like she was!) I had one really bad ride and bad run ( the run was bad because my ride was bad). All of our rides were really hard. The wind was brutal every single time. But we did it. And we all finished. One more is not out of the question. Thank you for the memory!!!
Drove up with Maggie as we raised the roof to Dynamite, Usher, and Pitbull. We got lost then met Kathleen for lunch. SCARF! Hungry bunnies.
Check in line was loooooong but I did not mind it too much. Got to talk to people in line and look for cute boys. Finally got our bike, run, morning, and two special needs bags, cap, chip and whatever else was in that bag. Blah blah, we got dinner too and did our bags and went to bed.
Friday - Dad came by and helped Maggie and me with our bags while we rode our bikes to check em in. That was so helpful! I was so excited my Dad was going to see this event and meet my amazing Austin family. FOMO team picture was next then naptime!
I went by to Carrie's hotel to get my fake fomo tats, talked to some cute North Carolina boys then like angels Mel, Katy and Jane Bui appeared! Holy crap I cried I was so happy to see them.
Went to get sushi then the next batch of sherpas appeared...Becca, Denise and Shannon! Whaaaaa!! I was so happy!
That night before. Ugh. Are we really doing an Ironman tomorrow?! Sleep, how is Peenut? Sleep, Is my GPS charging? Sleep, I hope Talie is doing ok with the girls, Sleep, I have to get up to pee. That was essentially my night's sleep.
We got up around 4 am got ready, tried to get down some calories and Becca, Denise and Shannon ( the most fun sherpas in the world) drove us to transitition to set up our bike nutrition then took us to the swim start a mile away. SUCKERS that are walking! HA! We were walking from the car to the start of the swim and OMG! we ran right into Barbara and Dad! Could not have been better timing. I got the tightest hug from my Dad and man did I need that. Everything was right in the world at that point. I had my friends and got to see Dad and Barbara. Let's do this.
Mass swim start: MEN EVERYWHERE! Where are all the single ladeeez? Oh there were about 25% women in this whole race....and they kicked ass! I got in the middle because Katy Dooley said you want to be in the vortex. So I got my butt to the vortex and Gun shot! Off we go! Kick, punch, scratch ( cut your damn toenails and fingernails d bags!). Finally got a nice open spot to swim and made it though! Except one more kick in the throat for old times sake. The guy actually said sorry! The last turn was through a canal that felt like FOREVER! I kept looking with my alligator eyes ( thank you Becca McCann for helping me with that during training) and never saw the finish. Just keep swimming foward. Eventually you will get there. Yay done! I seen I think Vicky and I saw Catherine and Al the Monkey for sure. Oh, I swam in my bathing suit. No wetsuit and no speedsuit. I was happy with my time. 1:32.
A volunteer was immediately available to me. She was great! We got off my bathing suit and got on my tri shorts, bra and favorite FOMO tri top with the cool wings Kathleen had lent me all training and for the race. Got my helmet, shoes and gloves on and out I go! I had to pee so bad. As I mounted my bike I saw Katy, Mel, Jane, Shannon and I know Becca and Denise were there but I don't think I looked that direction...and they were on the side I was mounting my bike on! Grrrr. Missed em! I think Katy was crying because she couldn't believe I swam so well. :) Seriously 1:32 for me is GRRRRReat!
The Bike: I was really happy to be done with the swim even though I felt pretty darn good. This was an awesome ride. It was hard, I was tired and I am not fast but the course was actually pretty awesome. Just a few chip n seal areas but most of the roads were like butta. The hills were perfect. Rollers. Cloud cover the whole ride! Holy crap were we lucky. It was 90 degrees and 100% humidity but if that sun had come out I am not sure what would have happened. I got really bloated in the second hour. I took a tums because I thought my tummy was feeling wierd and that may have upset it more. So I just took water for about an hour with little nutrition so my tummy would go down. It did after about an hour. Very uncomfortable. I felt some wind but again, we were so lucky! It was not near as bad as the rides we had in training. There was also a 50% chance of rain. Not a drop! So So lucky! I just thought rest stop to rest stop. Could not think 112 miles. 10 miles was doable. When I hit 80 I figured that is a great indication that I will be finishing the Ironman. I felt pretty good but was ready to be done. That last 12 miles took forever!! I think because I saw this HEB and I thought it was the one close to the transition area. It wasn't. So mentally I was like where the heck are we? Just keep moving forward. I love being a part of FOMO because believe it or not, saying forward motion, just keep moving forward kept me thinking I am getting closer and closer. Dismount!! Volunteer took my bike and shockingly this time I didn't want to throw it at her like I did at CdA. I was like here ya go kind lady and thank you. I don't hate my bike right now. I don't want to ride anytime soon but I don't hate it. That aluminum road bike has been very good to me and I love it. I do want a tri bike one day though. I digress. I did my bike in 7:23 I think.
The run/walk to the tent was far to walk/run in bike shoes. I didn't really want help this time because I had ....well, I didn't stop on the bike to pee so ....ya know. I prefered to just change myself this time. I had plastic bags for all my dirty bike clothes and aaaaaah nice clean running shorts. After I got everything on, including belt, socks, shoes, FOMO ice holder hat and running shorts I was out the door. I did pee in the porto potty this time. It took a while until I saw my people. I couldn't wait! Dina, Tammy, Karen, Nancy, Vicky, Catherine, Al the monkey, Kelly Knight , Kim Evans, Courtney, Lindsor, Stephanie, Eric C, Tim tim, Chel, Bekah, Mel, Becca, Shannon, Denise, Katy, Jane Bui, Cindy, Michelle L. , Charles, Phil, Amit, Mike P., Roman, Kelly G.,...Gosh, did I forget someone.? I love how they made themselves spread out enough to cover the lonely parts of the run. I did a run/walk...mostly walk. Kinda sad about that because running is my favorite part but my tummy wasn't having it. So I did the marathon in under 6 hours. I was having a great last loop because I hooked up with a really nice guy named Armando. We were gonna finish this beast together. He showed me a picture of his sweet 3 year old daughter who was waiting for him at the finish. He gave me a piece of gum and really great conversation.
The finish chute: The finish was completely different for me from CdA. It was crowded with people. I took time to look at everyone and take it all in. There was a spotlight. It was so exciting. I heard my name this time saying I am an Ironman and had my family : Dad, Mom, Babara and Seester waiting for me! It was something I was so excited about and visualizing that moment all through training. Charles Morton I think literally caught after I crossed. Big ole hug and got me my small shirt! ( last time I got an oversized finisher shirt for CdA). This one fits! Got my hat and medal and headed over to my family to share the big smile I had on my face. Then we walked over to my FOMO family and watched the amazing Maggie come in! I am so happy we got to do a race together!!
It was awesome rooming with fun gals Maggie, Lindsey Ginko, and Mallory. We had some great laughs! Training and racing with Kathleen, Oscar, Vegas, Rhonda, Pam, Shawn, Carrie, Michael, Chris, Kevin, Cynthia, Peaches, and Mary( and Mel even though she was not racing, she trained like she was!) I had one really bad ride and bad run ( the run was bad because my ride was bad). All of our rides were really hard. The wind was brutal every single time. But we did it. And we all finished. One more is not out of the question. Thank you for the memory!!!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Puppies
So I never really thought I would have one puppy much less two. Peenelope came into my life and god I have never felt so much love for an animal, except for when I had Jagermeister and now Peenut. Then I got really involved with rescue organizations, donated time and money and ultimately fostered.
I should have known. I fell in love with Georgia the second I saw her and thought I will just foster her. I marketed her the best I could but fell more and more attached to her and I am pretty sure she became attached to me and Peenelope.
I got tired of trying to give her away. The guilt and thought of that little face driving away killed me.
The thing I didn't think about is that Peenelope is not 100% yet. She still has issues from being scared of everything and does not have a very high self confidence. I needed that to be under control before committing to another puppy who also needs recall training.
It is really hard.
I don't really trust dog parks because dogs are dogs. I have many friends with dogs but it isn't often we can all meet up at a place that is available just for our dogs to play. Perfect situation.
Letting your dogs run around dog parks with other dogs just so you can get them tired is not the right thing to do. I feel like it is so important for my dogs to have most of their interaction with me.
So I am taking a lot more time to work with them individually. I have to take Peenelope for rides in the car so she won't be scared. I need to take her to positive places like getting her a happy meal at Mcdonalds. That is kinda cute.
I have to make sure Georgia has her fun in the water because Peenelope doesn't like the water.
They are buddies. They love each other but are very different in personalities. Georgia love thunderstorms and Peenelope will freak out if you even say the word thunderstorm.
They both love Peenut.
Just trying to get them all good before IM training begins. I totally think I bit off more than I could chew with keeping Georgia but my heavy heart just couldn't let her go.
So
My life will be about work and my puppies until IM training begins. Then my life will be about work, my puppies and Ironman. Won't have much more time and money to do anything else.
I went from nothing to do to not having enough time do everything. I kinda like it but would like to sit and finish a book at some point.
I should have known. I fell in love with Georgia the second I saw her and thought I will just foster her. I marketed her the best I could but fell more and more attached to her and I am pretty sure she became attached to me and Peenelope.
I got tired of trying to give her away. The guilt and thought of that little face driving away killed me.
The thing I didn't think about is that Peenelope is not 100% yet. She still has issues from being scared of everything and does not have a very high self confidence. I needed that to be under control before committing to another puppy who also needs recall training.
It is really hard.
I don't really trust dog parks because dogs are dogs. I have many friends with dogs but it isn't often we can all meet up at a place that is available just for our dogs to play. Perfect situation.
Letting your dogs run around dog parks with other dogs just so you can get them tired is not the right thing to do. I feel like it is so important for my dogs to have most of their interaction with me.
So I am taking a lot more time to work with them individually. I have to take Peenelope for rides in the car so she won't be scared. I need to take her to positive places like getting her a happy meal at Mcdonalds. That is kinda cute.
I have to make sure Georgia has her fun in the water because Peenelope doesn't like the water.
They are buddies. They love each other but are very different in personalities. Georgia love thunderstorms and Peenelope will freak out if you even say the word thunderstorm.
They both love Peenut.
Just trying to get them all good before IM training begins. I totally think I bit off more than I could chew with keeping Georgia but my heavy heart just couldn't let her go.
So
My life will be about work and my puppies until IM training begins. Then my life will be about work, my puppies and Ironman. Won't have much more time and money to do anything else.
I went from nothing to do to not having enough time do everything. I kinda like it but would like to sit and finish a book at some point.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
If it makes you happy...
Today I was standing with a total stranger who introduced himself to me as Richard. We had been standing there together for about 10 minutes just laughing before we finally exchanged names. Laughing together as if we have been good friends. We were laughing because our dogs were having a blast chasing each other, wagging their tails and getting completely filthy!
I am writing about this because on several occasions this has happened. I find myself standing with total strangers laughing. Smiling, laughing and being completely selfless. I am in a comfort zone that is hard to describe. I guess I can call it a "happy place".
I have had one of the worst years of my life and being able to laugh like that just about everyday has gotten me through. This is not to say that my amazing friends that I have met through triathlon haven't done the same. Just in a diferent way. We laugh as well but the joy I have watching my puppy so happy makes me feel like I have done something good that is not about me. This dog depends on me 100 percent. I could be at my most down and depressed but I HAVE to take Peenelope to the park. It is not her fault I am in the position I am in. She deserves a good day. Seeing her have a good day totally changes my bad day around.
I come home with a sense of purpose and it forces me to remain social when I tend to go into hibernation.
Peenut appreciates it too.
I am writing about this because on several occasions this has happened. I find myself standing with total strangers laughing. Smiling, laughing and being completely selfless. I am in a comfort zone that is hard to describe. I guess I can call it a "happy place".
I have had one of the worst years of my life and being able to laugh like that just about everyday has gotten me through. This is not to say that my amazing friends that I have met through triathlon haven't done the same. Just in a diferent way. We laugh as well but the joy I have watching my puppy so happy makes me feel like I have done something good that is not about me. This dog depends on me 100 percent. I could be at my most down and depressed but I HAVE to take Peenelope to the park. It is not her fault I am in the position I am in. She deserves a good day. Seeing her have a good day totally changes my bad day around.
I come home with a sense of purpose and it forces me to remain social when I tend to go into hibernation.
Peenut appreciates it too.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Starting Over. ( dramatic, I know)
Whenever evil befalls us, we ought to ask ourselves, after the first suffering, how we can turn it into good. So shall we take occasion, from one bitter root, to raise perhaps many flowers.
Leigh Hunt (1784 - 1859)
I like this quote because now that I am starting to climb out of this hole I fell into I can look back and see there were still some great things that happened. I could not wait for the day I could do that. Look back and reflect on a really hard time. I am still not quite out yet but I see the light.
Firstly, I was able to rescue and spend time with the two most wonderful animals. Peenut entered my life when Jager and my friend Leslie died and I lost my job at the beginning of our economic crisis. Peenelope entered when my friend Kim rescued her and her siblings as soon as they were born. Born in a crate with horrible and hot conditions from people that should go to jail. I offered to help find them a good home and ended up adopting Penelope turned Peenelope ( to go with Peenut). My unemployment has allowed me the time with them to get them acquainted with each other with me around and spend time socializing and training Peenelope. Lee Mannix helped me out with cost for the class and it was such a blessing. These are my babies that I hope to have for a very long time.
I also got to see what real friends are all about. I realize it is tough to stay around someone who is going through a rough patch. One must have the compassion, patience and understanding that this could happen to them at the drop of a hat. Just being there to listen, run, ride or just sit at a yogurt shop and Whole Foods and eat is exactly what I needed. My girlfriends ( tri and non tri) kept me from getting lost in my "cave". Granted I know a few people just don't want to be around me anymore and I completely get that. I don't want to be around them either...so this experience really weeded out some bad seeds for me. Summer is here and I am ready to come out of my cave, start my new job and I look foward to the opportunities that await me. These friends get to be around a new and improved positive Alisa that will be there for them always.
My family would not allow me to lose my house. I waited till I absolutely had to till I needed their help. It was the worst feeling for me that I had to borrow money so I could pay my mortgage. Going over my budget and letting family in like that is horrible. I have always had a lucrative career and been able to be independent of them. Now I was broke and unable to train or go out or do anything that was fun. I would have to explain that so I felt controlled. That was just something I had to deal with until I found an appropiate job opportunity. They understood when I did not want to be around for big family gatherings and it took a lot of "getting it" to agree to that. I realize the importance of family once again and how important they are in my life. Even though we disagree on about 85% of the things I like to do and how I live my life, ex. marathon and not wanting to give birth, we still agree on how important we are to each other.
I look at people who work hard for their money and hope they never take it for granted. I learned the reason for saving hard earned money and that got me through about 8 months of not working...and that includes the small fortune I spent on Ironman. You NEED that money because ya never know when something like what happened to me will happen again.
Thank heavens, for family, friends and animals....and running and biking. :)
Leigh Hunt (1784 - 1859)
I like this quote because now that I am starting to climb out of this hole I fell into I can look back and see there were still some great things that happened. I could not wait for the day I could do that. Look back and reflect on a really hard time. I am still not quite out yet but I see the light.
Firstly, I was able to rescue and spend time with the two most wonderful animals. Peenut entered my life when Jager and my friend Leslie died and I lost my job at the beginning of our economic crisis. Peenelope entered when my friend Kim rescued her and her siblings as soon as they were born. Born in a crate with horrible and hot conditions from people that should go to jail. I offered to help find them a good home and ended up adopting Penelope turned Peenelope ( to go with Peenut). My unemployment has allowed me the time with them to get them acquainted with each other with me around and spend time socializing and training Peenelope. Lee Mannix helped me out with cost for the class and it was such a blessing. These are my babies that I hope to have for a very long time.
I also got to see what real friends are all about. I realize it is tough to stay around someone who is going through a rough patch. One must have the compassion, patience and understanding that this could happen to them at the drop of a hat. Just being there to listen, run, ride or just sit at a yogurt shop and Whole Foods and eat is exactly what I needed. My girlfriends ( tri and non tri) kept me from getting lost in my "cave". Granted I know a few people just don't want to be around me anymore and I completely get that. I don't want to be around them either...so this experience really weeded out some bad seeds for me. Summer is here and I am ready to come out of my cave, start my new job and I look foward to the opportunities that await me. These friends get to be around a new and improved positive Alisa that will be there for them always.
My family would not allow me to lose my house. I waited till I absolutely had to till I needed their help. It was the worst feeling for me that I had to borrow money so I could pay my mortgage. Going over my budget and letting family in like that is horrible. I have always had a lucrative career and been able to be independent of them. Now I was broke and unable to train or go out or do anything that was fun. I would have to explain that so I felt controlled. That was just something I had to deal with until I found an appropiate job opportunity. They understood when I did not want to be around for big family gatherings and it took a lot of "getting it" to agree to that. I realize the importance of family once again and how important they are in my life. Even though we disagree on about 85% of the things I like to do and how I live my life, ex. marathon and not wanting to give birth, we still agree on how important we are to each other.
I look at people who work hard for their money and hope they never take it for granted. I learned the reason for saving hard earned money and that got me through about 8 months of not working...and that includes the small fortune I spent on Ironman. You NEED that money because ya never know when something like what happened to me will happen again.
Thank heavens, for family, friends and animals....and running and biking. :)
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
outside sales versus office job
I have been going over in my mind and trying to convince myself the decision I am about to make will be a good change.
I am so uneasy about going into an office everyday. I am used to walking into many different offices, meeting new people, and just being outside. I am used to having my office at my house and the flexibility of that was awesome.
This new opportunity will be different. I will be in an office and mostly on the phone with the occasional visit.
The pros to this are:
If we both decide to move forward the office is near Lost Creek so I can run the greenbelt at lunch.
I won't have to drive around my manager who is in town to work with me. I have to warn every account that I will have my manager with me so they don't feel double teamed. That was a big pain in the arse. I won't miss that.
I won't have to drive to Waco or Victoria to visit an account. The office is 10 minutes from my house. Easy breezy.
I won't have to drive around when the weather is crappy and the crazy drivers and traffic are plentiful. I can stay comfy and safe in the building.
Maybe this will provide a new structure for me. I will be able to get some hard workouts in early in the morning and then at night and won't have to walk in and out of offices with heals on. That will be happy times for my calves and achilles.
I won't have to leave town for a week to wherever my home office is ( Boston, CA, Washington....) for a national sales meeting. Those are exhausting!
So maybe this will be a good thing. It is still a mostly commission position so not being face to face to make a deal will be challenging...but this is a different sell that I can make work over the phone.
Second interview today and we both still need to make our decision.
Will update the blog once I know.
Till then...
I am so uneasy about going into an office everyday. I am used to walking into many different offices, meeting new people, and just being outside. I am used to having my office at my house and the flexibility of that was awesome.
This new opportunity will be different. I will be in an office and mostly on the phone with the occasional visit.
The pros to this are:
If we both decide to move forward the office is near Lost Creek so I can run the greenbelt at lunch.
I won't have to drive around my manager who is in town to work with me. I have to warn every account that I will have my manager with me so they don't feel double teamed. That was a big pain in the arse. I won't miss that.
I won't have to drive to Waco or Victoria to visit an account. The office is 10 minutes from my house. Easy breezy.
I won't have to drive around when the weather is crappy and the crazy drivers and traffic are plentiful. I can stay comfy and safe in the building.
Maybe this will provide a new structure for me. I will be able to get some hard workouts in early in the morning and then at night and won't have to walk in and out of offices with heals on. That will be happy times for my calves and achilles.
I won't have to leave town for a week to wherever my home office is ( Boston, CA, Washington....) for a national sales meeting. Those are exhausting!
So maybe this will be a good thing. It is still a mostly commission position so not being face to face to make a deal will be challenging...but this is a different sell that I can make work over the phone.
Second interview today and we both still need to make our decision.
Will update the blog once I know.
Till then...
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